How to write an obituary

Check every fact with the family first, then show who the person was through specific details instead of general praise.

Hands sorting through old black-and-white family photographs on a table, a notebook and pen beside them — Photo: SHVETS production / Pexels

Area: PeopleFrom age 18Time to learn: 30 minutes to learn; an hour or two to write one

An obituary announces the death, tells the person's life story, lists their family and gives service details, in that order, with every name, date and spelling checked and with private details left out.

Why it matters

An obituary is public, and once it is printed a misspelled name or wrong date cannot be taken back. Specific details such as a hobby, a nickname or what the person was proudest of say far more about who someone was than a list of milestones or kind adjectives. Leaving out the full birth date, home address and contact details protects the family, because that information can be misused.

How to do it

Gather the facts from close family and from papers such as the funeral home's records: full name with any nickname, maiden name or suffix, age, city of residence, and the date and place of death.
Decide with the family whether to name the cause of death. Obituary writers often include it, but it is the family's choice, and an obituary is mainly about how the person lived.
Write the announcement in one or two sentences: "Maria Elena Ruiz, 84, of Kelowna, died on March 3 at home with her family beside her."
Tell the life story in order: where they were born and grew up, schools, work or military service, marriage, and the groups or faith community they belonged to.
Add two or three specific details that show who they were, such as a hobby, a nickname, a saying or what they were proudest of. "She grew tomatoes on every windowsill" says more than "she was kind".
List the family: spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, parents and siblings, noting who survives them and who died before them ("predeceased by"). Check every spelling with a close relative.
Give the service details: date, time and place of any visitation, funeral, burial or memorial, and the name of the funeral home, or say that services are private. Add a charity "in lieu of flowers" if the family wants one.
Leave out the full date of birth, the home address, phone numbers and email addresses.
Have close family read it for accuracy, then check the newspaper's proof before it runs. Ask the price first: most newspapers charge, and the price rises with length and photos, while alumni, faith-community and social media notices are free.

Common mistakes

Publishing before the family has checked names, dates and spellings.
Including the full birth date or home address, which can be misused.
Filling the space with general praise such as "loving, kind, generous" instead of specific details.
Leaving someone out of the family list; read the list aloud to a close relative before you submit it.

You can do this when …you can draft an obituary with an announcement, a life story, a family list and service details, every fact confirmed by the family, and no full birth date or address.