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8.17

Splitting chores with a housemate

Split chores by time, write the list down, and review it after two weeks.

Two housemates cleaning a bedroom together, one mopping the floor while the other changes the bedding
Photo: Antoni Shkraba / Pexels
Area: HomeFrom age 19Time to learn: 1 hour to set up

You will be able to make a written chore split that both housemates agree is fair and that lasts.

Why it matters

Chore fights often start with expectations nobody said out loud. Housework is a daily load for most adults. A written list replaces guessing with an agreement you can both point to.

In 2025, 87% of US women and 75% of US men aged 15 and over spent some time on household activities on an average day. On those days, women averaged 2.8 hours and men 2.1 hours.
Source: US Bureau of Labor Statistics, American Time Use Survey 2025, 2026.Self-reported

How to do it

  1. Sit down together at a calm time, not right after a fight.
  2. List every recurring job: dishes, cooking, bathroom, kitchen surfaces, floors, trash and recycling, shared laundry, buying shared supplies, paying shared bills.
  3. Next to each job, write how often it needs doing and roughly how many minutes it takes each week.
  4. Each person marks the jobs they mind least and most. Give each person their least-disliked jobs first.
  5. Balance by total minutes per week, not by number of jobs. One bathroom clean can equal three trash runs.
  6. Define 'done' for each job in one line, such as 'Bathroom: toilet, sink, mirror and floor wiped; bin emptied.'
  7. Write it down and put it where you both see it, such as the fridge or a shared note.
  8. Agree what happens when someone misses a job: they make it up within 24 hours or swap with the other person.
  9. Review the split after two weeks, then once a month. Change what is not working.

Common mistakes

  • Splitting by number of tasks instead of time.
  • Leaving 'clean' undefined, so each person means something different.
  • Forgetting unseen work, like buying soap or booking repairs.
  • Keeping score silently instead of raising it at the review.
You can do this when …you and a housemate have a written chore list you both agreed to, and it has held for a month.

Sources

  1. US Bureau of Labor Statistics: American Time Use Survey summary
  2. Pew Research Center: Husbands and wives earn about the same in a growing share of marriages (2023)
  3. Pew Research Center: Modern marriage and sharing household chores (2007)

Sources and numbers last checked . How we check

All lessons

← 8.16 previous lesson: Recording a rental's condition on move-in day
1Body16 lessons
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2Mind15 lessons
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  3. 2.3Grounding yourself after a fright
  4. 2.4Letting someone see you upset
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3People17 lessons
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  2. 3.2Asking a question in front of a group
  3. 3.3Apologising properly
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  5. 3.5Writing a clear email, subject line to sign-off
  6. 3.6Comforting someone who is crying
  7. 3.7What to say to someone who lost a loved one
  8. 3.8Saying no without an excuse
  9. 3.9Phoning a business
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  11. 3.11Asking for consent
  12. 3.12Resigning from a job in writing
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  13. 4.13Filing your own tax return
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8Home17 lessons
  1. 8.1Making a bed with tucked corners
  2. 8.2Removing sticker residue
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  16. 8.16Recording a rental's condition on move-in day
  17. 8.17Splitting chores with a housemate · You are here
9Hands18 lessons
  1. 9.1Tying shoelaces that stay tied
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