2 Mind

• Grief and funerals7 lessons
• Worry and overthinking6 lessons

2. Train your attention and your emotions like any other skill, and get help early.

Mental illness is common. In 2022, more than 1 in 5 US adults had one, and only about half of them got any treatment that year (national survey, self-reported). A large US survey found that half of all lifetime cases start by age 14, so the warning signs are worth learning young. Some of the skills here are small. In brain-imaging studies, putting a feeling into words reduced activity in the amygdala, a brain area involved in threat responses.

1. 2.1Put an exact word on a feeling before you act on it, and bring your attention back to your senses when fear takes over.
   2.2 Naming what you feel2.3 Grounding yourself after a fright
2. 2.2Guard your attention: work in 25-minute blocks with your phone out of reach, and give yourself regular time alone without a screen, even when it is boring.
   2.7 Focusing for 25 minutes2.1 Staying with boredom2.15 Spending an evening alone without screens
3. 2.3Tie each new habit to something you already do every day, and expect it to take about two months, often longer, before it feels automatic.
   2.14 Building a habit by tying it to an old one
4. 2.4Decide in advance what evidence would change your mind, and say so when you see it.
   2.10 Changing your mind when the evidence changes
5. 2.5When you are not okay, tell one person in plain words, and let them see that you are upset.
   2.12 Telling a friend you're not okay2.4 Letting someone see you upset
6. 2.6Get professional help when distress lasts two weeks or more or stops you living normally. In a crisis, call or text 988 in the US or Canada, and call 911 if a life is in immediate danger.
   2.13 Knowing when stress needs professional help2.9 The 988 crisis line
7. 2.7When a worry loops, write it down and turn it into one next step.
   2.8 How to stop overthinking
8. 2.8Expect grief to come in waves, and show up for other people's grief with presence rather than perfect words.
   2.11 The 7 stages of grief, and why grief comes in waves instead2.5 What to wear to a funeral, where to sit, and what to say2.6 What to write in a sympathy card3.7 What to say to someone who lost a loved one3.15 How to write an obituary